Various themes come together in my novel ‘tanzen fallen fliegen’. Among other things, I tell the story of the young dancer Julian's coming out.
While writing it, I often asked myself what was so different back then compared to today: how did I feel about my own journey of discovery? Was it more difficult, more complicated or simply different to explore my sexuality, to question it. To try things out and feel free enough to just do it.
Or are some things still the same: irritating, hurtful, disturbing, stigmatising, possibly even more complex?
The current definition of diversity, the extremely complex concepts of gender, its labelling and categorisation, not only causes difficulties for many people in today's society, but also for me. It is usually less about the fact that someone wants to define and label themselves. The fact that a person feels differently defined, whether in the wrong body, prefers the same gender, cannot/would not fit into a socially defined order, exists and has existed for a long time. It has certainly rarely been discussed and publicised as openly as it is today.
But what bothers me is the often very martial appearance, the general demands and changes that are then to be implemented ad hoc by everyone; the language is to be adapted, so addressing people often becomes a game of vabanque. Sometimes you don't even dare to speak to someone. Or you mess around with the language. You get tangled up in empty phrases or even justifications that quickly put you in the wrong corner. You are labelled as ignorant or lacking in understanding. Yet there is usually a willingness, respect and openness to treat the person in question with respect. I can report on this from my own experience.
For me, what is happening here is rather the establishment of new norms, forms and containers. The labelling and pigeonholing, which irritates me. Standards become laws that restrict rather than open up. The individual, which was so painstakingly turned inside out, now becomes a stamp that restricts the freedom to be who you want to be without having to include every person around you. I am also free to decide to what extent I want or even have to deal with this issue.
For me, the motto is: live and let live.
When the question of my sexuality, possible preferences or partnership constellations arose during the 1980s, AIDS was one of the big issues that caused an uproar throughout society. The culprits were quickly found: gays were stigmatised for years, if not to this day. What's more, in my day, Section 175 was still enshrined in law.
That does something to you, especially if you were just trying things out, searching. It holds you back. You're afraid of being labelled, of being like THEM. And at the same time, you distance yourself from something inside you that wants to come out.
That still resonates. The phrase (to this day): ‘Do you always have a condom with you?’ is always present. (Here I would like to point out that there are many other sexually transmitted diseases, some of which are treatable, but can still be very hard on the body. Condom protection is therefore once again an important component, especially today - but for everyone, please). A reminder and at the same time an assignment of blame. Sometimes just said like that.
Without reflection.
And today - admittedly after a long and difficult journey - there are same-sex marriages, openly homosexual politicians, artists, athletes and celebrities, numerous public and large-scale events such as CSDs, Gay Pride Days and, in addition to ‘m’ for male and ‘w’ for female, an officially introduced new gender:
‘d = diverse’.
Nevertheless, homosexual and bisexual people and all people belonging to the LGBTQ+ community continue to experience discrimination. The majority of respondents (over 80 per cent) also perceive this to be the case, particularly in a verbal and physical context. Fortunately, a positive trend is continuing with regard to forms of classic homophobia - e.g. the open devaluation of homosexuality as immoral or unnatural and the denial of equal rights: such positions are now only shared by a small proportion of the population (just over 10 per cent).
However, this only applies to a fraction of societies, most of which live in democracies.
The rest? Deepest darkness.
So there is still a long way to go.
Every era has its striking developments, success stories and negative headlines.
We have to stay tuned.
So, keep on being open and live your life to the best.
See you soon and goodbye!
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